Love to God disposes men to see his hand in everything; to own him as the governor of the world, and the director of providence; and to acknowledge his disposal in everything that takes place. And the fact, that the hand of God is a great deal more concerned in all that happens to us than the treatment of men is, should lead us, in a great measure, not to think of things as from men, but to have respect to them chiefly as from God¡ªas ordered by his love and wisdom, even when their immediate source may be the malice or heedlessness of a fellow-man. And if we indeed consider and feel that they are from the hand of God, then we shall be disposed meekly to receive and quietly to submit to them, and to own that the greatest injuries received from men are justly and even kindly ordered of God, and so be far from any ruffle or tumult of mind on account of them. (Jonathan Edwards, Charity and Its Fruits, pp. 79-80)

i realized two things recently....
1) i remember two distinct situations now where i was facing some relationship challenges, and i remember praying and writing in my journal that God would help me to be loving and to do and say the right thing...but then, things turn out to be disastrous. seriously. i know that i need to be a certain way, but the other (the darker) part of me just rebels and blurts out things that i shouldn't have said. well, as you can guess, yesterday was one of those days. *sigh*

2) amazingly, God always seems to put some Bible verse, sermon message, or quote in my life that always challenges, reassures, and convicts me. God is amazing!

tomorrow's the weekend. thank goodness. i just need to get through one more night shift.