thoughts of my future (again!) =P
i've been thinking a lot lately about my future (again), and reading this article below made me think even more about it. i can't believe that it's been 5 years since i graduated from college. it seriously feels like it was just yesterday, but grad school did fly by though, in retrospect. it went mucho faster than college. and high school... dude, my ten year reunion is coming up next year. craziness!
(My comments about each of his advice are in the smaller, italicized font below each statement.)
College Graduation: Ten Things I Wished I Had Known
John Mark Reynolds
05.25.2007
from... http://www.scriptoriumdaily.com/2007/05/25/college-graduation-ten-things-i-wished-i-had-known
Forget the Commencement Address . . . which is like telling you to forget Harry Reid. There are ten things I wished I had known on graduating from college. These are not the most important things, just the things nobody told me that would have been useful. Some I stumbled on myself, others I learned by making mistakes.
In no particular order:
1. Friends matter. Don’t move around without considering the value of the community you have already made.
He said that he wrote this is in no particular order, but it's funny to me how this was first on his list. In fact, if this hadn't been first on his list, I don't think I would have even continued reading the rest of his article. Right now, I really do feel like I'm at this crossroads in my life. I love traveling and I love change. I'm the type of girl who used to rearrange her bedroom in a million different ways! You would think that with only a bed, bookshelf, desk, and other miscellaneous stuff that there would only be a limited number of ways of moving stuff around. But let me tell you, I was the queen of rearranging furniture. Sometimes, it was not always the most practical way, but tt was something different. But I digress. My point is, I like change. I love experiencing new things, which is one of the reasons why I love traveling. And not just visiting all the touristy spots, but absorbing myself into that new place, its culture, atmosphere, and people. So ever since some time in college, I've always wanted to live in Chicago. I applied to UIC for grad school but never interviewed because I got accepted at UC first. And of course, I had to go there because it's the cheaper school (since I'm a CA resident) and the "better" school too, supposedly. I even applied for a residency at UIC after grad school but didn't hear back from them, which was ok since I didn't even end up doing a residency anyways. But so far, my efforts at moving to Chicago have always been prevented somehow. So even now, while I am still contemplating the idea, part of me is thinking, "why??!!" and "do i really really want this?" In some ways, I am getting comfortable here in LA. I have good friends here and get to new meet new people... I do have a sense of community here and somehow, it's harder for me to pull away now than it has ever been for me. Before, pulling away and starting anew was always fresh and exciting, although with slight fear and apprehension at times. But nothing like what I'm feeling now. It's not really the fear of starting anew someplace else, but more the dread of breaking away from what I already have. And that, I am discovering, is hard. Maybe it's just too soon yet. After all, it's only been less than 2 years since i've been back down here in LA. Maybe in a couple of more years i'll be ready to move on again? Who knows? But for some reason, i feel like i am at a crossroads, that if i don't move now, then i might not ever go at all, which my parents will like for sure. =p
2. Work is good. Get that first “bad job” and read the manager’s manuals. Figure out how your company operates. Suck even your low level retail job dry of information. Credit cards are mostly bad. Don’t borrow money except for a house or more education.
credit cards are bad! bad bad bad. =) and shock! people always told me to enjoy being a student, that i'll miss it once i start working, but i never believed them. but here i am, finally understanding what they have been trying to say to me. not that i don't like the work life, because i do love not having tests and homework to do, but i now understand what they were finally saying after all these years. oh how i learn so late. =)
3. Don’t live for weekends, they are only 2/7 of the week. If your life is that bad, time for changes. Travel as much as you can in light of duty and sacrifice. (This is a great chance to go someplace and do hard labor for the poor with some friends.)
Ha ha. I have been living for the weekends ever since I started work. Working two weekends a month is hard. Not that I don't enjoy my time off during the week because I can just get so much more done during the week when things are a little less crowded. But it's just hard working weekends because that's when most people are off and available to do stuff. So it's just harder to coordinate schedules with people. That's what I miss most. But more accurately, I live for my days off. =) I am sooooo overdue for a looonnnngggg vacation. But the great thing about my 4 days a week schedule is that there are times when I can get 5 days off in a row and those are perfect for mini-vacations. So far, i've been to north carolina, arizona, baja california, and oregon using those mini-vacations! love it!! =)
4. If you are bored, pretty much ever, there is something wrong. We live in the most fascinating culture of all time with almost unlimited chances and choices. Perhaps you are only living for self and not for a cause bigger than you are? I know, I know. It sounds Commencement-y, but you cannot be happy living only for self.
I'm always perusing the internet, newspapers, etc for shows, activities, and things to do, so i know that there's a wealth of culture at my doorstep. In fact, I can't do everything that I would like to do because of schedule and expenses, but it's been enjoyable. But I am looking for a worthy cause to invest my time into as well. Volunteering with a free clinic, working with kids via coaching or tutoring.... there's a lot out there, i know, and i'm looking. I just need to decide and DO soon.
5. Time to stop playing (very much) with toys. Growing up means (partly) finding your pleasures not in bigger toys, but in a life well lived. Have kids (don’t wait past your twenties if you can) and play with toys again as a matter of duty!
I don't really play with toys, so i think this is pertaining more to guys. Unless time spent on the computer counts. like now. i can seriously spend/waste sooooo much time on the internet. there's such a wealth of information on the internet, it's too much!!! muahahahaha!!!
6. Getting married is good, but being single is also good. Let the people in your life who know you well (parents, pastor, friends) speak into your life to let you know when you are “ready.”
i am seriously enjoying my singlehood. seriously!! some might not believe me (especially the adults), but i am loving it. the freedom. =) and i do get those moments when i get all wistful for a short while, but that's totally normal, so it's ok. carpe diem! there is a time and season for everything!
7. You are an adult. You don’t have to prove it by disregarding every piece of advice older people give you. (Read the story of Rehoboam in the Bible.) Side line: do read the Bible daily. It is a good habit. Try reading a Bible like the King James version that will expand your vocabulary and sentence structure, not dumb itself down for you. Read a translation and not a paraphrase. The best modern version is the ESV.
haha. i love this one. and i really need to work on this one. i need a piece of humble pie. and one of my goals this year is to finish the entire Bible. (and it's almost june already...)
8. My being “happy” is not worth making someone else miserable. Your forty-something self will have to live with the scars you place on your soul now.
so true. i went through my mean and petty stage before, basically being a "monster," as one friend put it. it didn't make me any happier, and i learned that that is definitely not the way to go about doing things. and i definitely made a lot of mistakes with friends that i wish i could go back and change, but alas, i can't. the damage is already done. with some, i was able to apologize, but the hurt is still there, i'm sure, and those are hard to get rid of. i know. because when it happened the other way to me, i felt the same way. i forgive (or at least i think i did), but it's just hard to trust again and to go back to the same level of trust and confidence that you once had in that person. *sigh* relationships are so hard sometimes. they truly do give us happy moments in life, but grief and sadness as well.
9. Television? Media? Canned music? Try to get no more than an hour a day of the stuff. Read, read, read. (The difference between reading good stuff linked to on our home page or some other leader’s site and watching endless you-tube videos is one of the differences between shepherds and sheep.)
i don't watch too much american tv, but i can watch a lot of korean dramas once i get started. thankfully though, i'm not watching any now. but then again, i am wasting time on the computer right now. :) but reading... i love reading! with a passion! i have so many books that i need to finish and so many books on my list that i need to start. i'm just overwhelmed, in a good way. =)
10. Go to church every Sunday and participate. Join a small group there and discuss a great book. Church is a “free” way to find community, join a cause bigger than self, and find a moral system that you cannot just discard when it is convenient.
i do need to find a good church though. one with good preaching and with people that i can have fellowship with. please pray for me in this area. working two weekends a month has been hard in terms of being able to go to church consistently. and i definitely do see a difference.
Join a church with many older people in it (as long as they have a lively faith). Look for a pastor who is at least thirty years older (not close to your age). This seems like strange advice, but most of us are too peer dependent and need to be with (and hear) the ideas of older and wiser folk. Avoid the church of “what’s happening now.” You can get that from television.
Find a place with a doctrinal statement with some teeth. If you don’t have to believe anything much to join, then there is nothing to argue about! Dialectical growth comes from pushing against hard and bright lines.
I made some serious errors in my twenties, ones that I will always regret. You probably cannot avoid all of such sins or mistakes, but you can at least minimize them by God’s grace!
wow...i can't believe i spent so much time on this. but it was a good time of reflecting. but i still need to do some more reflecting. =) and praying. Lord, my prayer is that I would not live a wasted life, but that I would live a life that is singly (is that a word?) and passionately devoted to pursuing You.
(My comments about each of his advice are in the smaller, italicized font below each statement.)
College Graduation: Ten Things I Wished I Had Known
John Mark Reynolds
05.25.2007
from... http://www.scriptoriumdaily.com/2007/05/25/college-graduation-ten-things-i-wished-i-had-known
Forget the Commencement Address . . . which is like telling you to forget Harry Reid. There are ten things I wished I had known on graduating from college. These are not the most important things, just the things nobody told me that would have been useful. Some I stumbled on myself, others I learned by making mistakes.
In no particular order:
1. Friends matter. Don’t move around without considering the value of the community you have already made.
He said that he wrote this is in no particular order, but it's funny to me how this was first on his list. In fact, if this hadn't been first on his list, I don't think I would have even continued reading the rest of his article. Right now, I really do feel like I'm at this crossroads in my life. I love traveling and I love change. I'm the type of girl who used to rearrange her bedroom in a million different ways! You would think that with only a bed, bookshelf, desk, and other miscellaneous stuff that there would only be a limited number of ways of moving stuff around. But let me tell you, I was the queen of rearranging furniture. Sometimes, it was not always the most practical way, but tt was something different. But I digress. My point is, I like change. I love experiencing new things, which is one of the reasons why I love traveling. And not just visiting all the touristy spots, but absorbing myself into that new place, its culture, atmosphere, and people. So ever since some time in college, I've always wanted to live in Chicago. I applied to UIC for grad school but never interviewed because I got accepted at UC first. And of course, I had to go there because it's the cheaper school (since I'm a CA resident) and the "better" school too, supposedly. I even applied for a residency at UIC after grad school but didn't hear back from them, which was ok since I didn't even end up doing a residency anyways. But so far, my efforts at moving to Chicago have always been prevented somehow. So even now, while I am still contemplating the idea, part of me is thinking, "why??!!" and "do i really really want this?" In some ways, I am getting comfortable here in LA. I have good friends here and get to new meet new people... I do have a sense of community here and somehow, it's harder for me to pull away now than it has ever been for me. Before, pulling away and starting anew was always fresh and exciting, although with slight fear and apprehension at times. But nothing like what I'm feeling now. It's not really the fear of starting anew someplace else, but more the dread of breaking away from what I already have. And that, I am discovering, is hard. Maybe it's just too soon yet. After all, it's only been less than 2 years since i've been back down here in LA. Maybe in a couple of more years i'll be ready to move on again? Who knows? But for some reason, i feel like i am at a crossroads, that if i don't move now, then i might not ever go at all, which my parents will like for sure. =p
2. Work is good. Get that first “bad job” and read the manager’s manuals. Figure out how your company operates. Suck even your low level retail job dry of information. Credit cards are mostly bad. Don’t borrow money except for a house or more education.
credit cards are bad! bad bad bad. =) and shock! people always told me to enjoy being a student, that i'll miss it once i start working, but i never believed them. but here i am, finally understanding what they have been trying to say to me. not that i don't like the work life, because i do love not having tests and homework to do, but i now understand what they were finally saying after all these years. oh how i learn so late. =)
3. Don’t live for weekends, they are only 2/7 of the week. If your life is that bad, time for changes. Travel as much as you can in light of duty and sacrifice. (This is a great chance to go someplace and do hard labor for the poor with some friends.)
Ha ha. I have been living for the weekends ever since I started work. Working two weekends a month is hard. Not that I don't enjoy my time off during the week because I can just get so much more done during the week when things are a little less crowded. But it's just hard working weekends because that's when most people are off and available to do stuff. So it's just harder to coordinate schedules with people. That's what I miss most. But more accurately, I live for my days off. =) I am sooooo overdue for a looonnnngggg vacation. But the great thing about my 4 days a week schedule is that there are times when I can get 5 days off in a row and those are perfect for mini-vacations. So far, i've been to north carolina, arizona, baja california, and oregon using those mini-vacations! love it!! =)
4. If you are bored, pretty much ever, there is something wrong. We live in the most fascinating culture of all time with almost unlimited chances and choices. Perhaps you are only living for self and not for a cause bigger than you are? I know, I know. It sounds Commencement-y, but you cannot be happy living only for self.
I'm always perusing the internet, newspapers, etc for shows, activities, and things to do, so i know that there's a wealth of culture at my doorstep. In fact, I can't do everything that I would like to do because of schedule and expenses, but it's been enjoyable. But I am looking for a worthy cause to invest my time into as well. Volunteering with a free clinic, working with kids via coaching or tutoring.... there's a lot out there, i know, and i'm looking. I just need to decide and DO soon.
5. Time to stop playing (very much) with toys. Growing up means (partly) finding your pleasures not in bigger toys, but in a life well lived. Have kids (don’t wait past your twenties if you can) and play with toys again as a matter of duty!
I don't really play with toys, so i think this is pertaining more to guys. Unless time spent on the computer counts. like now. i can seriously spend/waste sooooo much time on the internet. there's such a wealth of information on the internet, it's too much!!! muahahahaha!!!
6. Getting married is good, but being single is also good. Let the people in your life who know you well (parents, pastor, friends) speak into your life to let you know when you are “ready.”
i am seriously enjoying my singlehood. seriously!! some might not believe me (especially the adults), but i am loving it. the freedom. =) and i do get those moments when i get all wistful for a short while, but that's totally normal, so it's ok. carpe diem! there is a time and season for everything!
7. You are an adult. You don’t have to prove it by disregarding every piece of advice older people give you. (Read the story of Rehoboam in the Bible.) Side line: do read the Bible daily. It is a good habit. Try reading a Bible like the King James version that will expand your vocabulary and sentence structure, not dumb itself down for you. Read a translation and not a paraphrase. The best modern version is the ESV.
haha. i love this one. and i really need to work on this one. i need a piece of humble pie. and one of my goals this year is to finish the entire Bible. (and it's almost june already...)
8. My being “happy” is not worth making someone else miserable. Your forty-something self will have to live with the scars you place on your soul now.
so true. i went through my mean and petty stage before, basically being a "monster," as one friend put it. it didn't make me any happier, and i learned that that is definitely not the way to go about doing things. and i definitely made a lot of mistakes with friends that i wish i could go back and change, but alas, i can't. the damage is already done. with some, i was able to apologize, but the hurt is still there, i'm sure, and those are hard to get rid of. i know. because when it happened the other way to me, i felt the same way. i forgive (or at least i think i did), but it's just hard to trust again and to go back to the same level of trust and confidence that you once had in that person. *sigh* relationships are so hard sometimes. they truly do give us happy moments in life, but grief and sadness as well.
9. Television? Media? Canned music? Try to get no more than an hour a day of the stuff. Read, read, read. (The difference between reading good stuff linked to on our home page or some other leader’s site and watching endless you-tube videos is one of the differences between shepherds and sheep.)
i don't watch too much american tv, but i can watch a lot of korean dramas once i get started. thankfully though, i'm not watching any now. but then again, i am wasting time on the computer right now. :) but reading... i love reading! with a passion! i have so many books that i need to finish and so many books on my list that i need to start. i'm just overwhelmed, in a good way. =)
10. Go to church every Sunday and participate. Join a small group there and discuss a great book. Church is a “free” way to find community, join a cause bigger than self, and find a moral system that you cannot just discard when it is convenient.
i do need to find a good church though. one with good preaching and with people that i can have fellowship with. please pray for me in this area. working two weekends a month has been hard in terms of being able to go to church consistently. and i definitely do see a difference.
Join a church with many older people in it (as long as they have a lively faith). Look for a pastor who is at least thirty years older (not close to your age). This seems like strange advice, but most of us are too peer dependent and need to be with (and hear) the ideas of older and wiser folk. Avoid the church of “what’s happening now.” You can get that from television.
Find a place with a doctrinal statement with some teeth. If you don’t have to believe anything much to join, then there is nothing to argue about! Dialectical growth comes from pushing against hard and bright lines.
I made some serious errors in my twenties, ones that I will always regret. You probably cannot avoid all of such sins or mistakes, but you can at least minimize them by God’s grace!
wow...i can't believe i spent so much time on this. but it was a good time of reflecting. but i still need to do some more reflecting. =) and praying. Lord, my prayer is that I would not live a wasted life, but that I would live a life that is singly (is that a word?) and passionately devoted to pursuing You.
This reminds me of one my favorite songs...
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
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